October 27, 2010

Dream: The Party

Primary characters:
Angel (lover)
Jackie (psychotic)
all their Friends
Angel's Parents
Drum (the Old Flame)

1st Act

In which Jackie believes a nice calm dinner from Angel's Family is to be expected

This part falls under the Drunken Dreaming Act of 1956. It is vague, emotionally intensive, incoherent, and exuberant. Our scene picks up from the staircase. It is time to prepare for the party. This party might be later that evening, morning, or the next day after Angel and Jackie sleep. They are going up and down the stairs with items in their grasp. Somehow, on Jackie's way up, he meets Angel coming down. They twist around each other in a sexual fashion and Angel passes him her empty cup, as it is known to both of them that Jackie was going up the stairs for a cup of water. He is wearing a dress because Angel's Mother is home, and he does not want an awkward naked encounter to occur. "Hello, my name is Alfred and I'm shtupping your daughter," is a phrase nobody really wants to say in the morning (or evening), especially if your name isn't even Alfred. The room upstairs is dark and divided into at least three parts. The parts are set up in a very similar fashion to a large, 30-ft-or-so wide, square letter S, with the stairs up near the left-hand base of the S. Jackie has rounded the corner of the base and entered the middle of the S, where it is mostly dark. He notices that his faculties are slightly impaired. His nerves are becoming racked, as he has to shit very strongly. He is facing the computer table and pours one glass out, but is overwhelmed by the need to shit before he can pour the other. This is bad because Angel's Mother (and maybe Father) are in the top room of the S. They cannot see him (he hopes), but he can hear them on the computer, watching videos and talking. Jackie puts a bucket under his dress and starts to shit as he pours the water into the next glass. However, his concentration is breaking by his nervousness that the Parents will discover he is shitting in their living room. Surely they will notice the smell. He finally finishes shitting but has worked himself into a state of shock. He is now naked and wondering where his pants went. Wiping his ass with a hand-towel, he grabs a larger towel and wraps it around his waist. Now it would be even worse if the Parents find him, as he is naked, aside from the towel, and that is just a no-good thing to be around a Daughter and her Parents. He is almost delirious and falls over the ground back towards the stairs, still in the middle of the S. One cup of water is in his hand and the shitty hand-towel is in his other hand. He remembers the bucket full of shit and panics (even more). Now on his hands and knees, he crawls back towards the computer desk, knocking over chairs in his confusion. Allow us to venture into his perception for a brief moment...
I'm short as fuck what the hell's wrong with me
am I on my knees or standing up?
this looks wrong, the tables are all above my head
or is it the chairs that are staring me down
oh my fuck this is bad
I can't move my head, my neck is frozen
it's stuck like this, in an upwards position
like some fucker drowning
I can't look down!
I've felt this way before... when I was a child
my entire body is paralyzed in such a fucked manner
what the hell is this
I'm trying to move to the left and right,
maybe I can rotate my neck...
fuck, or not.
it's pitch black I can't see shit
I can't tell if I'm standing or kneeling, my neck and eyes are paralyzed, I don't even know where I fucking am anymore (I could be by the computer chair but it looks like the whole fucking room changed), and I am looking for a bucket full of shit.
if someone finds me now I don't know what I'll do

Click.

The lights are turned on and lo and behold, Jackie finds himself in a different room. Somehow he crawled into a different room. He's in the middle basement. Angel's Father is there, looking at Jackie strangely. Jackie explains that he had a a a a panic psychosis attack. The words seizure and panic attack flow through his mind. He is thankful for Angel's Father to be there, despite the creeped-out expression on his Lover's Dad's face. The man leaves, giving Jackie the opportunity to regain his bearings. As he stands, he tilts his head from side to side to check his mental state. The entire room wobbles unsteadily. Apparently, he's not quite solid yet. He turns around and sees A Friendly Girl lying on the top of the couch he was on next to the wall.

Character Analysis: A Friendly Girl
hair: darker natural color, medium/long curly
possibly has braces. is trustworthy, but a Friend of a Friend.
may be from Germany, may be one of Angel's Friends, one From Back Home

She tells him she watched over him the whole time (giving him even more doubt as to what actually happened). She also tells him that she is sooo stoned. He wonders where Angel is, feeling almost guilty as if he has done something wrong. He gets up and walks towards the door, encountering more people.

2nd Act

In which Jackie realizes there is a large, vegetable-oriented birthday party occurring

I do not remember the rest of the dream.

September 19, 2010

The Hellboy Bird

I.
look for two more seconds
in the right direction
I feel empty inside
really far past the sky
the back of my eyelids

II.
mixed up and fucked up
give her a second
just to make this ok
it's so fucking cold
and sweat is beading

III.
I'm in this deep
rub my body with scars
the grey fog came
to fuck with my eyes
open the clouds up

~.~
wellwishers be villainized on a cosmic scale lick the diaphram
slowly pull it down right below your ankles they're cankles I
would say it's rather self-evident that you have left your brain
at another undisclosed location

September 18, 2010

Torpedo Smile

Black eyes and bassinets
You got the coldest hands
Quit interrupting
Black glass for trusting this

give it away to someone else
you don't need that anymore
just one more broken toy

intimate hatred was her only desire
i repaid my debt and burned in the fire
blowing smoke at insects
wiped the windows clean of mud
twigs all wrapped up in sheep's blood

September 17, 2010

Tapeworm Accident

I hope you feel a little less encumbered,
a little less hassled by everything.
I hope you realize our unawakened potential will sometimes wake itself
and I hope you let it sweep you away,
even if it's just for second.
You can fix the wrongs you've made right
Nothing is permanent enough to last forever
I hope you grow the balls to try:
don't forget how easy it is to die.
There is a hidden pattern that's waiting for you
A framework crushed to the smallest mesh
If you find it (it's easy when you free your mind)
You can do anything (you already can)

September 16, 2010

The Man's Daughter

Dislocation, our intrepid desires find some vestige point
And inofthemselves our reactions bend to the most
Suitable point! An ulterior motive consolidated
Into a word, one sound, two closed eyes
Looking back into the stone garden of your mind
What it is to be a quiet person
Truth and a tidy disposition unconvinced of everything
What's after death doesn't matter, but
It's something to live your life by

September 15, 2010

Disbelief

Problems
Solved

EXIST IN
DISORDER

I want somebody who is
willing to get lost in thought.

FUCK FAME
FUCK STYLE
FUCK YOU

Echidna

September 14, 2010

She Screamed in the Hand

Seeing drops billow from out
of my frozen spine
the hairs are back
it's an icy prison
but, like everything else,
the ice does not kill

September 13, 2010

Serendipity

I looked to see what time it was,
and it was one thirty-eight in the morning.
I laughed out loud at life.

September 12, 2010

Scraplets

assorted dreams:
- Crawling through grates with Steve
- Tron girl

MUSIC THAT I APPARENTLY SHOULD LISTEN TO BY SOME RANDOM DUDE I DON'T REMEMBER IN GERMANY:
Ltj Bukem
McConrad
Horizons
Hey long time no see
Yeah man
How's things?
Oh you know hanging in there
...
got any blow?
"So, this is Hell. It's not much different from everyday life, except here everything is

September 11, 2010

Blue Headshot

love is simple
not a complicated thing
love is someone
you want to come down with

wherever I am at
laughter always sounds
like crying