Ache or Diamond

you can have that if it works for you
but listen, it doesn't work for me

this is my exit strategy
to my preferred alternative
of real life

Dear You

Silent throne made of stone fleshed with bone
She tried contrived left dissatisfied
Forgot the letters, forgot the boons
Forgot the thousand powder burns

A million pairs of eyes watch in the dark
A million cries a million die
Two small white orbs sit placid and blank
In an office next to a gun on top of a bank

How difficult is it for a man to see light
When blinders are screwed in his skull from birth

Feelings cannot express these words:
Used and thrown out when you were done
Checked out and drove off down the road
Killing me was all you did

Yes, it's true that I gave it away
Only you knew the whole time, you knew
Ultimately, we're both shit. I just know it

A Sense of Urgency

The moment was vicious. I looked at her as she looked at me, and we both knew we were about to die. All I could think about was how pissed I'd be if she said, "I love you." All she could think about was how much of a bastard I was. It was really quiet outside until you noticed the hum and creaking of the generators and old brick and metal buildings. Almost as an afterthought, the wind breathed through the trees' leaves.

Dangerous

"Suicide is dangerous, man, it catches on so fast and the kids love it. Before you can blink, you're asking yourself, 'What makes me so fucking special?' and bang, headshot, .22 slug."

I'm dripping off of the moon
Somehow I started this death cult
Leaving this place soon

Touch skies with your eyes
A bathtub full of shoestring
Every day before I sleep I sigh
And then I go ahead and die

Causation isn't probation
so you should keep em the fuck apart
Religion is poison,
and you are weak-minded to believe otherwise

You're trying to interact with me
on a level that doesn't make sense to me
So cut the subtext, elevate language to art
it's so fucking simple: listen to your heart

WATCH THE FUCK OUT
A huge fucking brick
Fell through the skylight
It crushed all your family
Now it's coming for me

OH FUCKING DAMN
An angry busdriver
Just kicked down the door
He's got a fucking crowbar
Gonna settle some scores

///

I am a dragon
I breathe fire
Collect treasure,
fair maidens,
hate knights.

The Red Pen

And this is what I'm like when there's nothing left, my friends are foes, and my love is dead. The circumstances progressed to the point of no return. I'm flying by night, fucking burn burn burn. There is no emotion for me to express because the only emotion is the emotion of death. Most don't understand, and they treat me less well. I don't care for myself, I ignore my health. Because of the lies that you let me believe, I don't want to die, I just want to grieve. Your face doesn't elicit a response anymore 'cause I gave you my all and now I'm left poor. There will be no easy way out of this, not as long as you're there and I can still feel your kiss. I let my head get hurt and my heart get obliderated. Why you're worth it is unknown, why I do this isn't real. You've been forgiven, I don't care anymore, I just want some sleep so I won't think about more.

Peace On Earth & Universal Love

I don't wanna empathize anymore
I just wanna be loved for being your whore
I'm so fuckin' tired of self-deprecation
I hate every song on every radio station

We're lost in the archetype
OF EVERY FUCKING SOCIAL LIE
Take a long hard look at your life
IT WILL LAST YOU FOREVER

Married to my spinal pain
Taking care, disconnecting the brain
No one loves you no one fucking cares

There is nothing that should really be
There is no you, there is no me
Existence precludes prerogative

I found my own archetype
AND I KILLED HIM WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS
I took a long hard look at my life
EVERYTHING WAS FINE

Cognitive dissonance
Abstract ambivalence

Hangman Again

Expanding outwards from three distinct points
Transgressing violently onto reality
No more language no more identity no more expression no more desire no more lies
Pure integrity compromises the slow track
Locked in a box head bashed in with rocks
Separate structures deconstruct manifestos
You've made platonic virtues out of vice
All these abstractions regurgitating processes
Widespread denotations leave cancerous bile
Filth to rot to stability to status quo to filth again
Memories enshrined in forever, forever only is now
Divergent perspectives inadequate to explain larger understandings and vaster overarching patterns
What did you want to do when you woke up?
What did you actually do?
I tried fighting and that didn't change anything
Shouting out expressions of emotion and that gets you locked
Be quiet and hide cause when it starts, I don't think you're gonna have much of a chance.

Operative Levels

- Confusion, limited knowledge, ease of contentedness

- Seeds of abstract sown, temporal discontent, questioning

- Re-awakening of explanations, abstract thoughts with ease

- Stability, rationalization of discontent, reduced abstract

- Sociopathic understanding, calculated diversion of norms

- Logical fallacies utilized to fuel suicide and/or happiness



* These are just a few *

Mary's a fuckin' prick

"I find myself despicable. Death is my dream. It is difficult to sleep because of psychosomatic pain in my spine. I feel, unlike many. It's hard to love, like many. I have had a good life, am loved, desired, even idolized by many. However, I find myself unbearably compelled to self-annihilation. Viciously, I bring myself to subhuman levels of mental agony. I hate almost everything in my life, almost everything about myself. The way people treat me makes me want to die while simultaneously castigating myself vigourously for not treating people well enough. I consider myself a vile and putrid bastard and I will rot in Hell if there is one."

Robot Falcon

Drug use tends to prolong and exacerbate liminal states, while simultaneously making it difficult to return to a stable complacency and increasing the satisfaction received when achieving a new sense of identity.