Scribblechicken

I'm not too sure
just exactly what I'm
trying to accomplish here
but I'm doing it so well.

All you are to me
All I have to give
All the nights of cigarette burns, cold liquor, and burning memories
I'd give them all to you

Don't be so hard on yourself, you're
trying to act like Jesus. And that poor
fuck never had no choice in the matter.

Are you fucking
serious right now
because I'm not.

It's dark out, it's warm
I miss your cold touch
Somedays, like todays,
It'd be more than enough.

So for now, just in time
for that big fucking chance
I would steal your kiss,
I would steal a dance

Why? What a bitter enquiry
One best left forgotten
Only if it's been brought to light
An object of shame and delight

Sonofabitch it's bright outside
in all the wrong ways,
with all the false pretenses
Bullshit ambience so tried
and fuckin true
Believe me this, oh believer
I swear I'll ne'er be through.

Through hatred and disgust
far too vile, I redeem
myself as an alien, with no
thoughts of shame
One step closer to a final
cigarette, another day coming
up in which I'll bow out of
the dance, extinguish the
burning ember on my
aching cheekbone.

Flick flack

Often as not, I'm forgetting what I'm doing here or
anywhere. I guess I'm driven, and even if I don't know
by what, at least that's something.

the divine pursuit of happiness
is a beast slain by spear
it's not really feasible, cause
in the end, you wind up dead.
and where's the sense in that?

I wish I felt
worthwhile.

Please kiss me, please buy me a
rose, please show me you love me,
please show me I'm wanted, please
read all my letters, please think
things over, please be nice,
please forgive my lack of emotion,
please ignore my lack of thought,
please don't leave me alone,
please kiss me.

let me just
bite you,
right there.

spinning out of understanding
silver bullets floating in my chest
a twilight remembrance of where you
kissed me last.

if but for past digression,
I could feel somewhat perfect
but the flaws you crave are flaws
I prove altogether so readily.

so with this, some pointless stain,
I marked this page succinctly and I hope
any meaning, if so unintentionally derived,
is lost on you.

the radio station
is set to a constant
diet of white noise
to celebrate our
50th anniversary.

I don't want to become addicted to drugs.
It's gonna be okay
was the truest lie
I ever spoke.

Pantagrem.

Trying to remember how to walk while
my head feels underwater. Make up memories
to pretend to feel real again. I'm not looking
for love, I think I've found it. It's funny how these
things works out. I used to crave attention, now I'm fucking afraid
of it. It's okay though, it doesn't cripple me. And in the end, it
doesn't matter much; I've got your attention for the most part.

these lips are unfit to see
much less kiss or kill
it's way too late to be clear
I'm far too shaken to feel fear

Too late, too deep, too far,
too long, too emotionally invested,
too apathetic, too careful, too
lonely, too snide, too
cruel, too honest,
too realistic, too dumb,
too rich, too poor,
too unfit, too
sore, too attached,
too meaningless,
too meaningful.

Fuck
my
BRAIN

Although it is nice to map out
all the emotions that don't do you justice
Romantic gibberish is all I spout
Who fucking knows what you think of it.

It's getting too dark too write
and I'm not good at walking and writing at
the same time. Oh fuck, here comes a huge
staircase.

trying to stretch my head
all that's working is nichts
I'm winding up just feeling dead
feeling between gar nichts.

However;

Horse fight

Brain drain, fuck you.
I lived life, done with that.
Casual encounters by myself,
leaving notes on the bar for strangers.

I left you with a sour voice in your ears.
You had a few choice words to say to me.
It wasn't anyone's fault.

dark bodies
bright lights,
everyone's FUCKED.

This kiss, this kiss
it's the kiss of death
this bliss, this isn't bliss
I'd like to fuck you as I kill you.
Your neck is so beautiful

Diverging patterns re-emerge with forceful
remissions of their vapid transitions, collateral
damage enabled in personal relations. Or maybe
just without emotion, forever striving for denial.
Effervescence fueled by some fucking pathos,
some fucking meaning in an otherwise difficult to
translate existential black out.

Just For You

It's just like you to give me herpes,
it's just fucking like you.

math equations, sinus derivations
my head is spinning loudly
I can't seem to breathe like I should
where are the walls, where is the roof
please kiss me or cut the chase
and punch me in the face.

Nublet.
gruesome, tragic.
An anecdotal excerpt in King Arthur's court.

I will be your pretty knifewound.

Through a steady diet of codeine and deja vu,
I've managed to compile a list of things that I see in terms of me and you.
It's a short list, I'm only human, and these eyes can only see everything.
Hopefully you'll see them too, and this won't be anything.

she hasn't looked at me with her eyes
she hasn't tried to kiss me with her mouth
she isn't breathing with her lungs
there is a little demon living inside my skull.

A shot glass and your lobotomy.

Please...

don't find yourself in times
of trouble. Oh, please, don't
find yourself in times of that
trouble.

I find it too simple to leave
and as the tempest finds its
little reprieve, cannot shake this
feeling of despair, and love.
You've got a knife
a heart
and a pack of cigarettes
kill them.

I can't believe you'd ever fucking believe them.

Psycho.

Pathways arisen, you are not your silent cause
That place for which you your beliefs so tightly hold
Ibroughtyouhomejusttoeatyoualive.

Sado-Maso-Killer
Ba ba buh bahh ba buh ba ba bah bahhh.

redder than a lobster,
i feel sunlight kicking me
that dirty communist sun
biting down on my arms

Don't fight, it's not worth the trouble
Don't gripe, it's not really a good place to be
Don't stifle your dreams for abandonment

A Glass Slipper Rampage

biting my own head off
as the scenery falls down.
itemizing the ways that I,
well, I burned it down.
without this shred of discretion
no fucking aggression.
without a kiss to parch this lip
sore and bruised like the hips I never touch.

spit, stare
blood, wash
wipe, rinse
look, leave.

Velocity triggers your eyes to awaken
As purpose drains, you fall back shaken
Pooled at your feet, my only refuge
Strapped tightly to an engine of pestilence

i know this girl
she has her neck
fingers are soft
not easy to break

Untimely demise

I play Solitaire for hours on end.
It's a vague attempt to create something enjoyable in my life, I guess.
Sometimes, I wax scientific and speak of how it is pure stimulus/response.
Sometimes, I say it's because I'm soul-crushingly bored here.
Perhaps I have an addictive personality; really, it's not that much of a stretch.

//stop
restart your engines.
burn out your eyes.
reconfigure neural pathways.
examine lifestyle choices.
//go

It is horrendously easy to manipulate people. All you have to do is tell them something they already know and suddenly, you have so much in common. It's important to be sincere about it, otherwise this affirmation won't seem as reliable.
Generally, this is widely applicable. One can use this patchwork puppet show to get sex, money, and fame. Sex and fame are easier, though. Everything's been done for money already. Fuck, yesterday, I saw a video of a guy drinking half a bottle of Ipecac for $500, as long as he threw up on the sidewalk. He did, of course, it was fucking Ipecac.

I am a priest, not a Jezebel.
Either way, you've seen me wrong.

Pooorrkerr!

[fr0m workbook:]

carnal desire won't fuck
your heart, to death
it lies in dreams
with glory through peace

"He's LYING!"
"He's a sadomasochistic bastard
who wants to see us all rot!"

Balruboskju
Bringing death from life,
hair strung with maggots.
Evil visage, stare
to abyss most foul,
chaste Balruboskju.

If you wear special
glasses, this is an awesome
3-D drawing of Spiderman.

It helps if you're on acid.

Look in the terrible mirror
of the sky.

In sleep, I have yet to dream
In life, I have yet to die
In tombs, she has yet to lay her head
Beside mine.

all hail the new god
flesh gone black from pale
necrotic heart rife with
your eyes' sorrow - blank, pale

this ultimate horror.

i'd like to occupy you
hopefully satisfy you
if you would let me
i'd be your heavy thing

Troubadour

you're a pretty troubadour
with rhinestones in your hair
diamonds in my eyes
vivacious as your stare

heaven, if it not below us lies,
may rain down judgment, but
without fiery passion has naught
with which us to crucify

so for now, forever
be thou not by my side
but rather, be a part
of this life, and mine.

Skeleton handshake

i won't try and fix this on either you or me
labels never quite accomplish what I want out of life
and malapropism always matched your eyes

this tabernacle choir is a transvestite wet dream
a total fucking travesty dressed in silken robes
you're dressed to the nines and too drunk to kill

might as well wait for the tide to come in
bringing shores ever closer and sea monsters
the scarring is compounded on my aggravated flesh

your puckered lips awaiting, the lams ripe
for my slaughter, I'd do anything for you
and crush their heads under my boots

if only you'd notice, if only you'd care
about yourself, this is no circus freakshow
you value yourself about as much as ethics
and you can't stop yourself from shoplifting

so there's just that, and you are here
with desire rife with pathos and apathy
some kind of misanthrope jesus
with hazy eyes and pierced ears.

A note from the author.

Hi, readers (all three of you.),
All of the posts since the beginning of April were written and complied back in February and March (I lied about the grass.). Starting now, you may notice a larger emphasis on romance and less on suicide. I promise I'll keep the depression around, but I thought you all should be informed.
Anyway, here's a tidbit so this post isn't a waste.

As you hear the hark of angels,
your hands are pushed deeper in the filth.
As you hear the voice of God on high,
you're stripped bare and raped by the altar.

No undemanding justice made meek by war
No repent for your disease-ridden heart
No penitence or impatience, you're no whore
Just crows and debutante balls to say you're through

Okay, well, I guess they're not all about romance.

The sound of the pick orchestra

I am a great vicious monster with a thousand slobbering malevolent mouths.

The last member of an evil suit and tie
Girls can't bite off the good girls can't even bite
An escapist literature evacuations.
This last romantic anticipation.

Television just wants to be the bad situations, no no
we just want a little something
Cancer bloody child, will be a bad situation, ah no no
to help us fall in love again

Hit me on the head with your echo
Dispose me in the most inadequate way
I'll bring your body down to the docks
You couldn't tune in to what I had to say

With this blackened mace a fist
I will slaughter, none shall be missed
A horror demon, throat glow maggots
Burn deep in your holy sacrament
Goat God be free in your hatred
Goat God terminate all humanity!

You had blue ribbons in your hair
You never saw me up right there
You didn't see me grow up, with you in mind
Yeah, I never told you that it was all just for you.

If you were a double base pedal, I'd probably fuck you right now.

Poetry.

[from schoolbook:]

"Why not just fuck me, if you're fucking everybody else?"

Baath?
Tacit.
Meta?
Cort!

NIGGA
WHAT

COCA
INE!

Exuberancelot.

Brutality, violence, heroism, fear.
"It wants her,
but her shoes want it too."

Another

trust enjoyed despised hunted had hated

lust lies sleeping

"Hey man
have you
heard of
mc hammer?"

R-Man Files, Vol. XXI

I don't believe in God, because I am unkind
Sheltered by your side, I hide and divide
Without a kiss my studious shattered mind
I look to the sky and sadly deride

compare this
to your lover's first... kiss
it's sound like this and that
my all-consuming beaurocrat
masterful of pitter pat
deceitful synonym of autocrat

Looking up to heaven, I can't tell sun from cloud
Distortion corrupting vile pastimes endowed
Steely fist disallowed and disavowed
I reach for you, my love, instead, and I'm proud

Statistics.

[from schoolbook:]

Rock & Roll,
Aunt Jemimah!

Party in
the jungle!

Negative numbers
bother me

My head
is rejecting
this spurious
regurgitation of pre-
existing data.

DOOOOOOOOOOOOP.
DEEEEEEEEEE.
DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

I take drugs!
Just kidding.

"I fucked
your dog"

Single Baddest Mother Fucker

A negative bastard in statistics lecture
"Why the fuck am I here?
This class is bomb bogus."
"Fuck this."
"Bomb fucking bogus."

The average of mu squared is fuck your mom.

Baaarf.

Old.

These eyes are filled with pesticide
And tonight, I'm tired of watching you die
Drink a bitter cup
To your fucked up luck
This love isn't going well
You are hollow, I am a shell
Don't try and stop me
From being carefree
I'm not your plaything
But don't complain
You're still something
That won't feel pain
(You won't feel pain)

R-Man Files, Vol. IV

what exactly would you give for the gift of pure
blue sky? Withering softly, we embrace as the world
around us transforms into ruinuous beauty. I don't
sound travesty. This is a cavernous soulbreaker
and WE NEED TO FILL IT. my love for
life is matched by love for you, whoever you are.
it's a platonic love for you, but not for her. If you
choose to breathe mumbo jumbo, asphixiate. lightly we
superimpose heavy on dark. Dark strokes ignites and
finite dies your stress, your tragedy. i will never
be at home until i am in love. The most
final co/nnection of life and death.

while i write, the sun shines
down to inebriate and castigate

The chord is not the end of
days but the truest beginning.

Raise Your Breath to heaven with a small
H tonight. I can't tell you I want it but
you know it's all right. Perfect majesty, perfect fright
credible travesty, true delight. in this do i thee
love, counted ways or not.

Fuck you uuup!

[from sketchbook:]
lawl
leather face
is jesus

Punk
is
Fuckd

"Death to the
sensory elite!"
Com-ya-nist
blind folk

Of the holy child
Cure the plague

I'm taking a turn
but it's not you or me
rather for those around
who do not stare, but
certainly - care

cinderella's
big
score

"Oh fuck!"

"Oh shit!"

"I want to fuck you and
sew your pretty little
ribbons in my skin."

Even if
you can't
see
there
might
be hope.

Fucking nazism.
WORSHIP

I really don't expect this to come as much of a revelation.

Sunglasses at night.

I really wish I could shake this affliction.

It's something of a handicap, one that I enjoy far too much. Somehow, I'd like to connect with others. It's not working out particularly well, as most of my peers know me on a very specific, unhelpful level. Not that they aren't appreciated, it's just that I can't express how I feel soul-crushingly bored and fucking angry at my despair. It would be certainly arrogant and idiotic to assume that I'm alone in this feeling, but I suppose one of its characteristics is to make me feel like I'm absolutely isolated. Ridiculous, God is a mother fucker.

R-Man Files, Vol. XVI

she's trying to make me eat her apple fritter.
i am unsure as to how to react.
she's trying to use bad magic on me.
DO NOT EAT FRITTER
-------------------------
(eat it)

Sexy

[from sketchbook:]

I'm finding it difficult to create a reason
to lick this affliction.

Fuck your
tattoos, fuck
my smart-
minded ideas-

no particular mystery
no well-thought-out travesty
she came, but not to see
no goodwill, he failed entirely

"I feel like
a fucking
acid casualty."

ECHO YOUR INCOHERENCIES
I don't want to fucking hear them
DENIGRATE YOUR DEFICIENCIES
they're still what makes you you

and while i've never made it
or done anything of moderate note
i still miss your kiss
and i still feel a choke

my fucking epitaph
is your photograph
wielding a knife
labelled: no cause of death

What is
that? We've
got a real
original here.

"I am an
asshole."

"Fuck this"

Popsicles

[from sketchbook:]

fuck your mother

Giggles

You could call it a leap of faith but to be quite honest, it was so
innocent how at first we could just life the face right out of the
funeral pyre. Don't worry about it. This'll be all over soon, but it's
not quite the trip you were looking for.

"I think I'm a
Alcoholic."

My life isn't going how I'd like it to.
I don't have the money or time to be that person.
If I concentrate on my responsibilities, I might be
able to shove my depression in a corner.

Sugar Shank Pt. 2

PLATO

"FUCK
IT."

"It's weird, you wake up, you puke your eyes
out, you feel like a whole different
person. It's like we're taking a break
from reality,
but instead of
returning to
normalcy, every
single thing is
still killer
weird."

ELSEWHERE

Shoop!

Demerol

BANG

Sugar Shank Pt. 1

"you're breaking my
fucken zen, man"

"i really
don't know
what
you're
talking
about."

"You know fucken exactly
what i'm talkin about"

"don't fuck around."

"ALL"

"RIGHT"

KLIK

BANG
ECHO
ECHO
ECHO
echo

"OH."

Scratches from Waits

[from sketchbook:]

off the map you
can see us here
with a drip of
blood from my
fingertip marking
"you ain't home"

high class,
high collar,
high highs,
highball

blows my a kiss
and i just
can't look away

"NICE TITS... BLARGH"
"There's something fucking wrong with me."
"XCLR GRAPXZ! ENOGIX"
"A A A"
SHARK ATTACK

The charade is getting over the suicide attempts.

Hennepin & 9th

This town is sick,
sicker than the rose you gave me
it's an ink spill on the canvas
smeared indistinguishable with night

all the drinks kick like battery acid
all the broads have glass eyes and red dresses

you have to shake a few hands
to get away with murder
and money in your back pocket
smears the gears of sin with blood

every so often the animal pens
wind up with a hand and wrist

here's the alpha, the first,
you can tell it
the dirty wall's piss-stained
the windows cracked and nailed

in the pub the ceiling fan's thirsty
that table in the corner is too loud
there's a sob in my belly
a gun in my hand,
razorwire in my veins

it's been two weeks since i've heard from you
and my head's so fuckin sick

Mom Lizard <3

[from sketchbook:]

A) Initial pH MS = NH3, H2O -> NH3 + H2O -> OH- + NH4+
B) Add HCl -> H+ + Cl- => H+ + NH3 FUCK THIS

I'm gonna
draw
Dinosaurs

Ah yes, I do indeed
enjoy a yearly subscribtstion (sp)
to GQ magazine.

How did you know lawl

Soup
Fuck
Eat
Steal
Fuck

Don't swallow your tongue

You're feeling vicious
so try not to lash out. You're
fucking upset. Leave the pieces
intact.

BANG

Top English.

[from sketchbook:]

Guitar Players
...are kind of lame.

AW HELL NO DAWG
THATS MY BED

Gypsy
Fuck

I'm headed out the drain
Fallen off the bottom of the train
And by this time tomorrow,
That photograph will be all you have left of me
With a broken bottle for my bride
And a gunshot wound for a fucking I.V.

III
saw your daughter's
bbbreasts last
weekend!

Super Skeletoid Mugger
versus
Shroomesque Bodybuilder