May 17, 2009

Four: Comments

Comments:
am filled with an urge to be friendly and make other peoples' lives happier
in order to hide my own sense of despair. read about despair in
existentialism, apparently living in a state of despair means not only
being despairing and bereft of hope but also reliant on some individual or
circumstance that could lead to despairing. am not sure most people aren't
without a state of despair in their lives; certainly, I am twofold vulnerable.

i'm trying so fucking hard to put a happy face on this, but if inside
I'm so spiteful and abject, it seems like a waste of time. everyone
else seems preoccupied with proving how big their cocks are, and I'm
finding it difficult to just sit here and apply tobacco and alcohol as
a tranquilizer. even the birds can't shut up and just exist.

2 comments:

Alyssa said...

Hsng in there lovely. You know, do that whole work thing and make it so you can get to someplace where you're happier. You better make it to the city next spring or I'll have to come to Germany and stow you away in my luggage home.

Alyssa said...

By "Hsng" I clearly meant "hang" or any other appropriate verb you feel would be better suited.