Ache or Diamond

you can have that if it works for you
but listen, it doesn't work for me

this is my exit strategy
to my preferred alternative
of real life

Dear You

Silent throne made of stone fleshed with bone
She tried contrived left dissatisfied
Forgot the letters, forgot the boons
Forgot the thousand powder burns

A million pairs of eyes watch in the dark
A million cries a million die
Two small white orbs sit placid and blank
In an office next to a gun on top of a bank

How difficult is it for a man to see light
When blinders are screwed in his skull from birth

Feelings cannot express these words:
Used and thrown out when you were done
Checked out and drove off down the road
Killing me was all you did

Yes, it's true that I gave it away
Only you knew the whole time, you knew
Ultimately, we're both shit. I just know it

A Sense of Urgency

The moment was vicious. I looked at her as she looked at me, and we both knew we were about to die. All I could think about was how pissed I'd be if she said, "I love you." All she could think about was how much of a bastard I was. It was really quiet outside until you noticed the hum and creaking of the generators and old brick and metal buildings. Almost as an afterthought, the wind breathed through the trees' leaves.

Dangerous

"Suicide is dangerous, man, it catches on so fast and the kids love it. Before you can blink, you're asking yourself, 'What makes me so fucking special?' and bang, headshot, .22 slug."

I'm dripping off of the moon
Somehow I started this death cult
Leaving this place soon

Touch skies with your eyes
A bathtub full of shoestring
Every day before I sleep I sigh
And then I go ahead and die

Causation isn't probation
so you should keep em the fuck apart
Religion is poison,
and you are weak-minded to believe otherwise

You're trying to interact with me
on a level that doesn't make sense to me
So cut the subtext, elevate language to art
it's so fucking simple: listen to your heart

WATCH THE FUCK OUT
A huge fucking brick
Fell through the skylight
It crushed all your family
Now it's coming for me

OH FUCKING DAMN
An angry busdriver
Just kicked down the door
He's got a fucking crowbar
Gonna settle some scores

///

I am a dragon
I breathe fire
Collect treasure,
fair maidens,
hate knights.

The Red Pen

And this is what I'm like when there's nothing left, my friends are foes, and my love is dead. The circumstances progressed to the point of no return. I'm flying by night, fucking burn burn burn. There is no emotion for me to express because the only emotion is the emotion of death. Most don't understand, and they treat me less well. I don't care for myself, I ignore my health. Because of the lies that you let me believe, I don't want to die, I just want to grieve. Your face doesn't elicit a response anymore 'cause I gave you my all and now I'm left poor. There will be no easy way out of this, not as long as you're there and I can still feel your kiss. I let my head get hurt and my heart get obliderated. Why you're worth it is unknown, why I do this isn't real. You've been forgiven, I don't care anymore, I just want some sleep so I won't think about more.

Peace On Earth & Universal Love

I don't wanna empathize anymore
I just wanna be loved for being your whore
I'm so fuckin' tired of self-deprecation
I hate every song on every radio station

We're lost in the archetype
OF EVERY FUCKING SOCIAL LIE
Take a long hard look at your life
IT WILL LAST YOU FOREVER

Married to my spinal pain
Taking care, disconnecting the brain
No one loves you no one fucking cares

There is nothing that should really be
There is no you, there is no me
Existence precludes prerogative

I found my own archetype
AND I KILLED HIM WITH MY OWN BARE HANDS
I took a long hard look at my life
EVERYTHING WAS FINE

Cognitive dissonance
Abstract ambivalence

Hangman Again

Expanding outwards from three distinct points
Transgressing violently onto reality
No more language no more identity no more expression no more desire no more lies
Pure integrity compromises the slow track
Locked in a box head bashed in with rocks
Separate structures deconstruct manifestos
You've made platonic virtues out of vice
All these abstractions regurgitating processes
Widespread denotations leave cancerous bile
Filth to rot to stability to status quo to filth again
Memories enshrined in forever, forever only is now
Divergent perspectives inadequate to explain larger understandings and vaster overarching patterns
What did you want to do when you woke up?
What did you actually do?
I tried fighting and that didn't change anything
Shouting out expressions of emotion and that gets you locked
Be quiet and hide cause when it starts, I don't think you're gonna have much of a chance.

Operative Levels

- Confusion, limited knowledge, ease of contentedness

- Seeds of abstract sown, temporal discontent, questioning

- Re-awakening of explanations, abstract thoughts with ease

- Stability, rationalization of discontent, reduced abstract

- Sociopathic understanding, calculated diversion of norms

- Logical fallacies utilized to fuel suicide and/or happiness



* These are just a few *

Mary's a fuckin' prick

"I find myself despicable. Death is my dream. It is difficult to sleep because of psychosomatic pain in my spine. I feel, unlike many. It's hard to love, like many. I have had a good life, am loved, desired, even idolized by many. However, I find myself unbearably compelled to self-annihilation. Viciously, I bring myself to subhuman levels of mental agony. I hate almost everything in my life, almost everything about myself. The way people treat me makes me want to die while simultaneously castigating myself vigourously for not treating people well enough. I consider myself a vile and putrid bastard and I will rot in Hell if there is one."

Robot Falcon

Drug use tends to prolong and exacerbate liminal states, while simultaneously making it difficult to return to a stable complacency and increasing the satisfaction received when achieving a new sense of identity.

Winnie Orange Pt. 15

listen to yourself more
you generally have all the answers
trust in people more/less
they can help while you help them.

vibrant exclusive this
paranormal naranoia
fish swim, humans kill
this separation is born
of discontent and grants
certain transcendent boons

Winnie Orange Pt. 14

To my right,

I smell the night

To my left,

I taste death

In between, I'll stake

my heart

It will burn, and it

will hurt,

And I will watch it

all from here

Winnie Orange Pt. 13

As much as we believe to see
things in 3 dimensions (some say
4), the simple fact remains
that there is cohesion of all
senses. We've got only one
perception each, the differences
we cling to sensorially are
divergent from a cognizant
ultimate goal. Think not what
you can do for your kids, think
about how you can become the
best parent for them.

Winnie Orange Pt. 12

Everything that I say is
Very important to someone.
I will mostly never hear
Screams of agony, just
Cathartic bellows. The
Erudite among us all
Remember the truth, the
Abstractions we cling to
Tightly. Listen now:
Everyone's telling the truth.

Winnie Orange Pt. 11

10 9 8 7
everything's going to
fucking burn
6 5 4 3
I hope I will be the
first
2! 1!
my entire life just got
so much fucking worse.

Winnie Orange Pt. 10

I don't worry anymore
about inspiration. There's
a big bucket of fish
in my head and all I
have to do is stick my
hand in there. Someday
I might pull out a bloody
stump.

Winnie Orange Pt. 9

one thing after the next
one breath, exhale
one foot in front of the other
stop.
take another breath
you'll do this the rest
of your life

Winnie Orange Pt. 8

I clean the cuts up
on my arms
Put the Band-Aids on
my hands
I feel... better every
day
My smile... lights up
your face
Cold air makes me
feel so warm
There's no frostbite
anymore.

4AD Part III

BEWEIRDERMENT

DECOGNICIZE

"OH the comic cosmic pleasure derived
from self-diversion"

mechanically performing nothing can instigate
a form of deconstruction in which greater
realizations can occur.

4AD Part II

NOWTHISISMEWHENIAMENDLESSWHENTHETRA
CKSKIPPEDANDHASN'TCAUGHTITSELFYETSOWAI
TTHEREWEREEXACTLY3
3
3POINTSANDNOWTHEY'REG
ONEBUTI'VEGOTAPATTERNANDMETHODANDI'MGOOD
ASGOLDBECAUSEFEELINGSOWRONGNEVERFELTSOGOOD
NOWJUSTIMAGINETHEQUALITYOFTHESHITI'VEGOTIT'LL
[star shape]TLE
YOU
BACK
INTOAWEWEONOEXOT
XR3TIBP[loss of language]
[flatline]
[abstract conceptualization of ink as consciousness]
BACKTOTHEORIGINALCONCEPTWHEREWEWEREBEFOREWES
TARTEDYOU'VEGOTABEATOFANYSORTTOWORKWITHYOUHAVE
GOTMYHEARTTHEEND.
[thick rough black line] <- THAT'SFORWHENITHINKTHEREAREPEOPLEWATCHINGANDTHE
REAREN'TSOIWASTHINKINGWRONG
THAT'SFORWHENI'MWRONG
THISISFORMEWHENI'MRIGHT: [zebra striped barcode signifying clarity of vision and purpose]

4AD Part I

Blue Ballpoint:
To express my desire for nothingness I ask for nothing less that can be gave

Purple Sharpie:
No solid emotive vessel of purpose no vestige point none

Red Sharpie:
Everything followed to ultimate conclusion mine

Small Black Ink:
Identity dissolves in the space between the lines. The remembered abstractions of a once forgotten time. The immediate experience serves to justify. Vessels fueled by winds of darkest creation. The life is to strive and thrive. Provide comfort for us all.

Japanese Black Sharpie:
There is no you There is no I
Existence precludes prerogative.
blight and love the only pursuits
worth pursuing
all else is garbage
all other pens
say less

Quiet Black Sharpie:
[abstract black lines at right angles to each other]
that is what i have to say

Old Black Ballpoint:
I am the voice that nobody listens to, I am selfish and vicious and full of rage because my intent is misunderstood.

Red Pen:
track 16 is the hardest one to follow it is one that uses the brain
it overlaps and interlays meanings lost and then reconstituted
this is the only truth you need to know: pattern recognition lets you feel the beat

Tiny Evil Black Ink:
I am hunger and craving, I'm the only one who's hard to resist. All I give you is what you want, I'm so totally what you need. I am capricious and disappear yet I'm always there even if you aren't.

Faint Pencil:
I am the dimness of knowledge
of remembrance and last
touch. I am your first
kiss. I am your
last love.

Distracted Tiny Black Pen:
THIS IS THE PART
WHERE IT GETS
GOOD AS YOU CAN
SEE THERE IS CLEARLY
NO ME LEFT

AND NOW I'M OVER HERE BUT THE ONLY WAY TO
CATCH ME IS FROM BACK OVER HERE

AND I KEEP
COMING BACK
BUT THEN I'M GONE

I wanna be loved for being inconsistent.
...as I wipe slobberjuddercrabbermaw.

Sketchy Black Ballpoint:
WIND IS MY COMPANION FOR HOW I BLOW AT YOU

Yellow Sharpie:
All this is
empty abstract
pure pattern
and nothing
more

what you derive
is your misgivings
this fractured pattern
knows the score

Song about a T-Rex

The gnashing jaws of the
Tyrannosaurus Rex
Beady yellow eyes...
I spy carrion!
My bloody fangs
will crush your legs
Scavenger! Carnivore!
Yeeeaaargh!

Pink Book III

Switch it around it's barely coursing
I could lie and say it's not worth
taking the time to be that
concerned.
why do I set myself up for disaster
only to end up satiated in
all my needs.

Dream: The Party

Primary characters:

Angel (lover)

Jackie (psychotic)

all their Friends

Angel's Parents

Drum (the Old Flame)

1st Act

In which Jackie believes a nice calm dinner from Angel's Family is to be expected

This part falls under the Drunken Dreaming Act of 1956. It is vague, emotionally intensive, incoherent, and exuberant. Our scene picks up from the staircase. It is time to prepare for the party. This party might be later that evening, morning, or the next day after Angel and Jackie sleep. They are going up and down the stairs with items in their grasp. Somehow, on Jackie's way up, he meets Angel coming down. They twist around each other in a sexual fashion and Angel passes him her empty cup, as it is known to both of them that Jackie was going up the stairs for a cup of water. He is wearing a dress because Angel's Mother is home, and he does not want an awkward naked encounter to occur. "Hello, my name is Alfred and I'm shtupping your daughter," is a phrase nobody really wants to say in the morning (or evening), especially if your name isn't even Alfred. The room upstairs is dark and divided into at least three parts. The parts are set up in a very similar fashion to a large, 30-ft-or-so wide, square letter S, with the stairs up near the left-hand base of the S. Jackie has rounded the corner of the base and entered the middle of the S, where it is mostly dark. He notices that his faculties are slightly impaired. His nerves are becoming racked, as he has to shit very strongly. He is facing the computer table and pours one glass out, but is overwhelmed by the need to shit before he can pour the other. This is bad because Angel's Mother (and maybe Father) are in the top room of the S. They cannot see him (he hopes), but he can hear them on the computer, watching videos and talking. Jackie puts a bucket under his dress and starts to shit as he pours the water into the next glass. However, his concentration is breaking by his nervousness that the Parents will discover he is shitting in their living room. Surely they will notice the smell. He finally finishes shitting but has worked himself into a state of shock. He is now naked and wondering where his pants went. Wiping his ass with a hand-towel, he grabs a larger towel and wraps it around his waist. Now it would be even worse if the Parents find him, as he is naked, aside from the towel, and that is just a no-good thing to be around a Daughter and her Parents. He is almost delirious and falls over the ground back towards the stairs, still in the middle of the S. One cup of water is in his hand and the shitty hand-towel is in his other hand. He remembers the bucket full of shit and panics (even more). Now on his hands and knees, he crawls back towards the computer desk, knocking over chairs in his confusion. Allow us to venture into his perception for a brief moment...

I'm short as fuck what the hell's wrong with me

am I on my knees or standing up?

this looks wrong, the tables are all above my head

or is it the chairs that are staring me down

oh my fuck this is bad

I can't move my head, my neck is frozen

it's stuck like this, in an upwards position

like some fucker drowning

I can't look down!

I've felt this way before... when I was a child

my entire body is paralyzed in such a fucked manner

what the hell is this

I'm trying to move to the left and right,

maybe I can rotate my neck...

fuck, or not.

it's pitch black I can't see shit

I can't tell if I'm standing or kneeling, my neck and eyes are paralyzed, I don't even know where I fucking am anymore (I could be by the computer chair but it looks like the whole fucking room changed), and I am looking for a bucket full of shit.

if someone finds me now I don't know what I'll do

Click.

The lights are turned on and lo and behold, Jackie finds himself in a different room. Somehow he crawled into a different room. He's in the middle basement. Angel's Father is there, looking at Jackie strangely. Jackie explains that he had a a a a panic psychosis attack. The words seizure and panic attack flow through his mind. He is thankful for Angel's Father to be there, despite the creeped-out expression on his Lover's Dad's face. The man leaves, giving Jackie the opportunity to regain his bearings. As he stands, he tilts his head from side to side to check his mental state. The entire room wobbles unsteadily. Apparently, he's not quite solid yet. He turns around and sees A Friendly Girl lying on the top of the couch he was on next to the wall.

Character Analysis: A Friendly Girl

hair: darker natural color, medium/long curly

possibly has braces. is trustworthy, but a Friend of a Friend.

may be from Germany, may be one of Angel's Friends, one From Back Home

She tells him she watched over him the whole time (giving him even more doubt as to what actually happened). She also tells him that she is sooo stoned. He wonders where Angel is, feeling almost guilty as if he has done something wrong. He gets up and walks towards the door, encountering more people.

2nd Act

In which Jackie realizes there is a large, vegetable-oriented birthday party occurring

I do not remember the rest of the dream.

The Hellboy Bird

I.
look for two more seconds
in the right direction
I feel empty inside
really far past the sky
the back of my eyelids

II.
mixed up and fucked up
give her a second
just to make this ok
it's so fucking cold
and sweat is beading

III.
I'm in this deep
rub my body with scars
the grey fog came
to fuck with my eyes
open the clouds up

~.~
wellwishers be villainized on a cosmic scale lick the diaphram
slowly pull it down right below your ankles they're cankles I
would say it's rather self-evident that you have left your brain
at another undisclosed location

Torpedo Smile

Black eyes and bassinets
You got the coldest hands
Quit interrupting
Black glass for trusting this

give it away to someone else
you don't need that anymore
just one more broken toy

intimate hatred was her only desire
i repaid my debt and burned in the fire
blowing smoke at insects
wiped the windows clean of mud
twigs all wrapped up in sheep's blood

Tapeworm Accident

I hope you feel a little less encumbered,
a little less hassled by everything.
I hope you realize our unawakened potential will sometimes wake itself
and I hope you let it sweep you away,
even if it's just for second.
You can fix the wrongs you've made right
Nothing is permanent enough to last forever
I hope you grow the balls to try:
don't forget how easy it is to die.
There is a hidden pattern that's waiting for you
A framework crushed to the smallest mesh
If you find it (it's easy when you free your mind)
You can do anything (you already can)

The Man's Daughter

Dislocation, our intrepid desires find some vestige point
And inofthemselves our reactions bend to the most
Suitable point! An ulterior motive consolidated
Into a word, one sound, two closed eyes
Looking back into the stone garden of your mind
What it is to be a quiet person
Truth and a tidy disposition unconvinced of everything
What's after death doesn't matter, but
It's something to live your life by

Disbelief

Problems
Solved

EXIST IN
DISORDER

I want somebody who is
willing to get lost in thought.

FUCK FAME
FUCK STYLE
FUCK YOU

Echidna

She Screamed in the Hand

Seeing drops billow from out
of my frozen spine
the hairs are back
it's an icy prison
but, like everything else,
the ice does not kill

Serendipity

I looked to see what time it was,
and it was one thirty-eight in the morning.
I laughed out loud at life.

Scraplets

assorted dreams:
- Crawling through grates with Steve
- Tron girl

MUSIC THAT I APPARENTLY SHOULD LISTEN TO BY SOME RANDOM DUDE I DON'T REMEMBER IN GERMANY:
Ltj Bukem
McConrad
Horizons

Hey long time no see
Yeah man
How's things?
Oh you know hanging in there
...
got any blow?

"So, this is Hell. It's not much different from everyday life, except here everything is

Blue Headshot

love is simple
not a complicated thing
love is someone
you want to come down with

wherever I am at
laughter always sounds
like crying

Idea

Imagine if in Lord of the Rings, a boat from distant shores came up to some big ol' hobbit or human or elven city and shows them guns and Victorian values and culture and shit like that.
- The wizards probably knew it all already
- The hobbits would hate it.
- Sauron would love it.
Steampunk of the Rings?

Abraham Lincoln is a fucking genius.

Let's have a wonderful American Thanksgiving. Bring out the microwave turkey, the can of cranberry jelly. Dad bought a few sixpacks, and the TV is ready to record the big game. We've got everything set to impress the whole family; even the dog got a haircut. Little Susie made patriotic flags and turkeys out of construction paper in school, the colours rich with brown and orange. Mom had taped those effigies to the cupboard door as she finished preparing the mashed potatoes. Junior mowed the lawn, the good cutlery was all washed, and all the kids' faces had been cleaned. The doorbell is about to ring. The nuclear holocaust is about to begin.

Moment of Production

I'm trapped in this little bubble with little metal windows with little stained-glass fractals filtering just a little bit of skylight onto my skin. I look like an iguana, scales biting and slithering and coarsely ingratiating themselves into my raw, rubbed flesh.

Pink Book II

it's like a disorder
or an infections
definitely a way of life
definitely not healthy
self-immolation
manipulation
I just want a kiss,
and it turns into an
elaborate psychological torture.

Pink Book I

There is an owl flapping by my head. It is tiresome to believe and even more difficult to breathe. When the lights turn on, it's florescent holocaust. The lines are neon jags.

God and Society:

worthless distractions that need to be put the fuck down.

British V

spy spy
I got nothing
in my eyes
try try
there ain't nothing
that can fly
I've been the remover
Let your sentiment dissolve
I'll be the last conceiver
Let the precipice contrive

British IV

"FUCK
THE
FUZZ"

Chapter 42?!!

Barnacle Booty

~.~

Botch.

Turn your face
To a heart
Made with rain
And all this bacteria

British III

Forget... me not. There is no destination.
Ignore... my thoughts. A total lack ____.

sensitivity

TRUE POWER

"Bogey!"

Let's Rock Out

Soundrel Fought

Scoop
Dribble
Crack
Chicks
Waffles
Gents

"I'ma FUCK you up" said the fish.

British II

"I want to kiss the internet every time I use the dictionary."
11:45 to something
2088 humanities
THUG LIFE

"What the fuck man!
Oh my fucking God!"

British I

society
would be a lot
better off if every-
one had a lot more
crippling personality disorders

It's always quiet

Two thirty in the morning. Staring at the sky with a clenched jaw.
I think, "My cigarette is almost out."

wednesday flames

I was just sitting out on the street, and I saw her on a windowsill. Didn't think much of it at first, don't think of much at all these days. But after a couple of minutes I just couldn't ignore it. She was like a quiet organ piece, something solemn. The kind of broad you want to take out in a car, driving nowhere in particular. How could I ignore that on such a quiet Summer evening?

Slaughterhouse Baby

The heaviest draught of deflowered access would sink into our faces as tombs.

You've gotten far too encumbered and it sickens me.

Broadened horizons milked for their sanity.

failed antics

vast arms

typographical errors

the basics

biii

A Final Analysis For Today's Lecture

It's an ultimate enterprise driven with nothing habitual or routine.

Geriatric motherfucker! Get off of my lawn.

We're not here to mince words. Your eyes don't open wide enough.

I swear to Bejeebus, I am armed and will not hesitate to protect my wife and kids, bucko!

The various self-directed pain you flail about will be used to illuminate the world for you. You will become a fuller, more actualized person.

...but I'm all alone in here.

You're alone in a room in a house filled with 4 billion people.

Let's fucking do it, I've got this .45.

...okay.

Winnie Orange Pt. 7

She's my private
serotonin

My heart is being
devoured and that's
cool with me.

Winnie Orange Pt. 6

The train started to move
I saw your face
through the glass
mouthed those three
running side by side
You left
I stared at the train
diminishing
and I screamed
my lungs out
threw cigarette away
sobbed my fucking face off

Winnie Orange Pt. 5

It's always not good enough
Not for you
Not for me
Not for this
Not for then
Always now
I just wanted something interesting
and I have it

Winnie Orange Pt. 4

Space age poodle alien
lunatic fuck boob with
waffle jelly bean dook
squadz triumph potato

Winnie Orange Pt. 3

LACK
OF
WILL

Winnie Orange Pt. 2

I like to keep my feet

in motion

When I don't know

where I'm going

Something about this

old house

Just makes me want

to die.

Winnie Orange Pt. 1

Long black hair
Long red hair
Long blonde hair
You think that patience is

a virtue

Hammered two iron nails
Into the door right there
Watched you fall apart

Three blurry lines in my
swimming vision
My slippery fingers tried
to get in.

Winnie Blue Pt. 4

She said her name was
(where is my voice?)
Putrefaction, putrefaction
(where is anyone?)
//
end

Winnie Blue Pt. 3

She said she would

examine the wound.

But her promises

are never fucking true.

It's a thought to remember

slipping through a scarlet
glass door

Nothing is ever finished

forget every single thing
you know and you won't
have half the empty
head I do.

Winnie Blue Pt. 2

Forget me not
Swathed in brightest
charms and divine pacers
Cut loose! don't deny truth
xx//qr3:hint.
When I thee do face,
deface, embrace
mirror \ cataclysm
What's left, your breath?
It seems a surfeit tooth,
broken through cold tissue.
Regalia.

Winnie Blue Pt. 1

Big surprise, starry night.
Where did the vaccinations
come from?
I spent too much time
Deciphering rhymes
Forget me not, I don't
remember a fucking thing.
Do your best to not cause
pain, imprint your mind with
a generalized lucid stain.
You can call it awareness,
despicable, or ignore it.

Is it a fact?

When you live in one place too long,
you lose sight of how fleeting life is.

Gravity

Belonging to the slowest train
Suffocating in sweet sublime
Fuck the wind, fuck the rain
We are damned and divine

Spice

There are other things to live for than love
I just have to find them.

LIES, LIES,
IT'S ALL LIES.

Danger, baby.
"I've got the wobblies!"

I'm lying when I say
I hate everybody, but the
trend seems to be that
the more I get to know
someone, the less I
like them.

Denia

She wants to cut her own head off with a hacksaw
Deliberately so unenthused
Drip down the gullet, my slobber maw
Sitting hopefully for nothing at all.

Fuck May

Stressful.

Mucha mucha

"Pocahontas... in space?"
"...raping virgins on gravestones."
Chun Li is in this class

weather

"it's incumbent upon us, therefore"
"instantiation" "indispensable" "interpolates"

Slow it away

hold your heart up

a wave is breaking
under complacency

yellow splashes
on freckled grey

Bite your fucking head off
eat a bag of baby

push over suck don't punch
sex and cantelopes

Lambs

tense

jacked out
your face irrelevant and so slow and descending with a mighty

sigh//'

you felt lifted

a hand
but not of the earth

sent it so delicate
and intrepid, full of trepidation

forgetful nah twas it let out the window or forever razor startled the end complete

blotted sperm//''

But No
a sound a thought a nice tidy abstract fuck

you left but it is hard to tell the difference
so thrashed lashed viciously touched in so beautiful a fashion

fruitful and terrifying//'''

Kill Solo

His water like blood, infinitely childish
You're doing okay
Spending all the time with the revenants
You're going to die

Shave a little time off a mustache
You are left with a rage and a fear
But if you cannot brave the trust
You might as well be fucked

Alex

He invited the girafferoo, that Alex Neufeld.
How awesome.

P.S. He's a dick with a Nerf gun though.

Biggie

When I die, fuck, I want to Hell that I go there
Cause I'm a fucking lobotomy, can't you see?
Heaven's for the white crusaders, the peacocks
You pretend your life is something more
When it's something less
A black box, no holes, lack of face in this respect

Choose to smile

Buying drinks for antipathos cause em uh what?

a treasury for every communicable human disease
including but not limited to piety, heartache, and
the human fucking condition,

...man, I'm not even serious about the marks
that scratch the itchy surface without any surge of
complacent just instant rambles from a vine with no
name. Spades dig deepest when the curves of a
woman explore things and stuff.

fingers are too easy to point
so why don't you try something else

hope fuck

they whisper when she walks in a suggestive manner
I don't think she notices
straying whisper giving a toast to lack of
presence of self, or is it unbearable

Dream Boy

what! the fuck!
is wrong with our country
the United States
of slavery/subjugation

I try and try
to figure it out
all I get is
this bitter taste in my mouth
give me liberty and give me death
cause I'm so fucking done with being oppressed

the hangman's noose
is coming for you
piss stained bastards
fucking the red, white & blue

what the fuck's
wrong with being free
is that so hard to understand?
is that so hard to see?

where's my vision
of the American Dream
discrimination,
you fascists,
can't be allowed to breed

[switch up the words a bit, and it's a power violence song I recorded]

FOR REAL, MAN!

fattened up and ripe
expulsion of grimed walls
spilling away wasting away
you saw the night break the silence
shame! fear! degradation...
lies so far from here and now
can we show you
let us show you
what exactly happened here
now I am lost and gone
nothing bespoke a crescendo
but one with no vision
agency rendered useless through apathy

>drive

of course you fucking knew it
you knew it all along
i'd give my life
just to sleep again

my quiver's full of roses
bloodied up my hands and now
I'll face my own foes
I'll fake my own prose

the government
has issued me
a certificate
"Keep eyes on me"

domestic disturbance is a-ok
by me, you see,
i believe in hope and light
hiding in the flame of the dragon's tree

cutting off the oxygen
you make me so fucking frail
are you machine?
or am I just going fucking crazy?
prognosis: no casualty
just a bruised out cruiser
with a hatful of dreams

Therapy

Her beady eyes
Serving only to cut through the bile
and the quiet sighs
so fucking tiresome

Tribal Hexagram

She's a ghost, she's ambivalent. Cross drawn and
uninhibited. What's there to exchange? What's the
last place for you or me, we'll meet there now
and skip the ambiguities.

Old Airplane Thoughts

Everything is really pretty sometimes
Other days it's harder to see
I'm not always sinking
Though I may pretend

Shouldn't be so surprised
When things turn out worthwhile
Too used to being petrified
My heart's cold and calcified

But that's all I do
Throw my emotions in a corner
Complain about my lack of availability
Smoke the skull from my head
Think about taxes, how I'll never pay them
Think about live
Hope I'll make it past 20
Cause everything's jitters
And everything sucks

It works out

Seems like just a few days ago, you were all I lived for.
now it's like we're almost strangers.
. I really can't wait to see you, believe you,
,. see if we can still be us.

"Leave me the fuck alone."

This paraplegic is me in a wet dream
shock as the meds collapse cortex
burning flesh drifts cancerously
And a little bird sings

"Defenestrate me
Obliteration
This room is far too small for me
Do not condemn me"

Creatures of the Night cannot love

It's flooding here
burning the skin right off our minds
You're not alone, I fear
babe, please don't make me try
...to tell you...

Don't trust the werewolf
Do not feed the ghoul
Creatures of the night
Cannot love!
I am from Space
You've never seen it
Those fucking beasts
Have foul hearts!

If you could say
Why's the majority all the authority?
Perspective is best
When there is no air
...to choke on...

Facemask

Sidewalk flashes and bursts of life
The people are plastic bags
Billowing at the wheels of their jobs

The taxi cab makes me glad
One method of escape from this lonesome drag
"Take me downtown! In five minutes, please, now!"
We live until we cannot survive.

Our dollar bills taste like drug companies
Our fireworks replace our hunger
Pedestals with slobbering crushing businessmen
Whisper static diversions to our children.

Fuck the mirrors, they've been engineered
To disease and filth, fiction and tears
No surgery can erase eyes
And screams and confusion that hide behind those lines

Flashback that man of machines as he slowly turns his lids inside his heart, turning them lustfully inside out. Salamander the pederast looked out for the sky. He waited for it to ignite.

Ecstasy

Hate is emotion, just like love,
and emotion is the digressor
that is life, animal reaction.

Ecirth

Know truth can beget rage
in silent waiting day by day
howl sleeper in wide eyed dream
sunny day miracle
they let whispers ahh ahh
turn to shrieks ahh ahh ahh

Is it?

let it press up against you
really close, now, closer than that
really look, now, look like you aren't watching tv
really, it's difficult
I know
so do you, now
at this distance, it doesn't matter
there's no pressure, you don't even have to pay
attention
there's a little black dot
that is everything you've ever seen
but it's not you
it is

The Edited Version

His hands
so pale. Nicks and scabs
only reflections of red under
skin.
like
blood
died
in his face. Under
enormous black
grey beard,
skinny, wiry body
back hunched. Let me tell
how
this way, with
wild eyes
skinny.

"Fuck that," she said

fail out the legend
spurred ghastly finite wind
destitute and silently embodied
with soliloquy

Space Porn

Swollen
Fetid distance.
She manipulates
the isolation of sound.
Amorphous and stuck
It's distance again
calamity abides in dim lit reservoirs
spiked iced droplets entwined with
cells and arteries

black lit

Face plant she said he said screaming words from above

"and I smoke cigarettes"
"just a joke"
"not a knife"

he's going to write a book, no scratch that, he is writing a book. and he's tied up in the blackness and the grimes and he's scared but you know he's walking through the shadows of feeling

ALWAYS

and always.

sliiitch

Girls.

Punk music.

Classical.

Style.

Representation.

A beat down fool. She calls him uselesss every day but it's cool.